Easing Relative Interference During Wedding Planning

It is a sad truth that relatives can make planning a wedding extremely uncomfortable. A bride to be can all too often find herself caught between a rock and a hard place, suffering from an eternal case of trying to please too many people and actually pleasing no one. With weddings, relatives of both bride and groom step into the light just to make life that little bit more difficult – the end results can be a betrothed couple so distressed and fraught with tension, the wedding day seems more like something to dread than savor.

Yet while there is truth in the aforementioned scenario, it doesn’t have to be the way. Many betrothed couples find the stress of planning a wedding almost unbearable even without relatives trying to interfere, and the end result is a poorer day for everyone.

The problems that relatives create can be endless. It can be from the Great Aunt you barely remember who insists on a tradition you don’t like just because it’s been in the family for generations, or the Uncle of the groom who doesn’t want to be seated next to his ex wife. It’s a difficult conundrum to play, and weddings are naturally fraught with emotion, all of which can escalate on the day without careful planning.

For it is careful planning that is the only thing that can save a couple on the run up to their wedding. Quite simply, remember that this is your day. It’s your one shot, hopefully the only wedding day you’ll ever have, and if your mother doesn’t like the choice of flowers then that is predominantly her problem. Make decisions quickly and firmly, and when they are made, stick to them.

It sounds simple, when of course it isn’t. Many brides decide to be forthright and stick to their guns, only to then find themselves the subject of what is essentially emotional blackmail from relatives and friends alike. In these cases, quite understandably, they crumble and start giving in to demands. Unfortunately, there is no sure fire method of ensuring you are not one of these brides. Just try and keep your head up, plough through and remember that even if some people have a problem with the order of the ceremony or indeed the flowers, in most cases when the day arrives and their demands have not been met, they’ll let it go. Then everyone can enjoy the day, and the preparation need not be a terrifying thing.

Warm Up Your Feet!

A vast majority of brides, like their grooms, spend the last few days before their nuptials more than a little nervous. This is known as cold feet, and many brides are prepared and ready for it – but it still shocks them anyway.

It is completely understandable that people about to get married experience a little fluttering of nerves, even if they are marrying their soul mate. Getting wed is a huge, life changing decision – both morally, emotionally and legally. It is tying yourself to someone else forever, quite literally for better or for worse. A lack of some apprehension at such a big commitment would almost me strange.

If you are experiencing cold feet, it is not your mind trying to tell you you’re doing the wrong thing. It is the body’s natural defense, the fight or flight mechanism, that is kicking in – a natural instinct that warns us of danger. While there is no actual danger, the mind cannot help but panic a little over a commitment that is set to last a lifetime. After all, almost everything else we do in our lives is only set for a short time. Very rarely do we make decisions that are meant to last until the day we die; even most mortgages only run for 30 years.

The most important aspect of dealing with cold feet is to keep the feeling in perspective. Many brides find that, despite nerves in the week leading up to the wedding, they find themselves calm and serene on the day of their wedding. Cold feet allows a bride to get through her fears and worries, and then be free to enjoy the day itself. When you reach the day of the ceremony, there’s almost no going back – the decision has been made by then, which the vast majority of brides find comforting rather than disturbing.

If you are days away from your wedding and are feeling decidedly uneasy, just tell yourself this: you decided to get married for a reason. At some point, as a clear headed adult, you have made the decision to marry your boyfriend because you feel you are right together. Don’t let these last minute ticks of worry ruin the lead up to your wedding, as you will only do it once. This, of course, is the root of many of the fears themselves, so try and turn that positive into a negative. Tell yourself: I am only feeling like this because I know this marriage will last, and this is a decision that will last my lifetime. Suddenly, it won’t seem so bad anymore.

Budget Wedding Tips #2

One of the eternal questions for a wedding reception is the debate of whether or not to have an open bar. It is becoming more and more common for weddings to become cash bars, as an open bar adds significantly to the cost of an event.

The way to have an open bar without appearing closed fisted with money is to do it sensibly. With each invitation, include a free drink token and one for any guest they may bring. This is a little more expensive than a purely cash bar, but it is an ideal compromise. Also ensure that there is a free mineral water available – if necessary just by purchasing bottles of water and glass jugs, and setting them on the tables before the meal commences – so that everyone can have a drink if they are genuinely thirsty. It is also worth while doing the same with orange juice, ostensibly for any children attending – but you will find that adult guests also indulge.

Another area of great expense to any wedding day are outfits for the attendants. It is somewhat dubious to ask bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, though it may be worth floating the idea past them with the incentive that they can choose their own style. If you really do want a uniform set of bridesmaids, however, it is unfair to expect each lady to contribute to something they only wear once. This means you will need to foot the bill.

This, however, is easily helped by the realization that you do not need to buy bridesmaid dresses from an actual wedding store. The mark up in wedding stores is big for bridesmaid dresses, as many brides automatically purchase their bridesmaid gowns from wherever they have found their own dress. You are paying for the convenience. A simple way to get around this issue is to look in high street stores for simple, flattering dresses; none of which need cost the earth. While it is unlikely you’ll find floor length gowns, shorter length dresses are more than acceptable for bridesmaids and do help create a more contemporary feel. Also, if you have a lot of attendants, it may be worth checking with the store to see if you can get a bulk discount.

Weddings are expensive, but by thinking outside of the box there is no reason why you cannot cut a quarter off your total budget. Be ready to hunt for bargains and snap up deals if you see them and just tell yourself this: at least you won’t be starting married life in mountains of debt.